Let me teach you how to give him what he really wants, a mind blowing, earth shattering, knees shaking, can’t stand, oh my god marry me, blowjob.

I love giving blowjobs! So much to say that it’s kind of a hobby, no… a passion. I love everything about them, but in all fairness it’s easy to love something you’re good at. (Not trying to toot my own horn, but come on. It’s fair to give credit where it’s due.) I’m not a slut, I’m actually monogamous… for the most part. We just all have our calling. This is mine.

Some people buy hybrid cars or rally for peace to make the world a happier place. I have decided to do my part too, by teaching the world how to give amazing blowjobs. That’s right, I’m making the world a happier place… one blowjob at a time.

Do your part. Check out www.howtoblowlikeapro.com

Woman- Knock, knock

Man- Who’s there?

Woman- Undercover nympho.

Man- Uhhh, come in.

Hahahah. What? That’s not funny to you? Whatever, I’m hilarious.

Giving a blowjob sounds like a pretty straight forward thing but don’t be fooled. If you’re just listening to your girlfriend’s advice then you’re likely getting half assed advice. And you know what they say, half assed advice delivers a half assed blowjob. I am going to teach you the difference between just a blowjob and a sexy blowjob.

Sexy isn’t all about how you look physically. Feeling sexy is just as, if not more, important. Even if you don’t feel sexy now, it can be learned. Giving your man a sexy blowjob it starts with confidence. Below are a couple pointers to make sure you’re feeling confident.

Get your hygiene in check

The last thing you want to be thinking about when giving your man a blowjob is how fresh you feel. Most women think that they just need to make sure their partner is fresh and clean. Not so. A lot of men admit that one of the hottest things about a blowjob is when he can smell his partner’s hair. You know there is a direct correlation between smell and memory. Do you want him to remember his blowjob every time he smells smoky hair from a night out on the town? Probably not. Depending on where you are, you can even use showering as a form of foreplay so you know there won’t be any hygiene concerns for either or you.

Lay ground rules ahead of time

Make sure that you’ve have discussed boundaries ahead of time. If there is something you are not comfortable with, like thrusting, let your partner know so that you don’t have to interrupt your sexy blowjob to tell him what you do or don’t like. If you know ahead of time he won’t don’t anything you won’t be able to handle then you will feel confident and confidence is sexy.

Make eye contact

Your eyes tell more than words ever could. They will let your partner know if you are loving or hating what you are doing. Try looking up at him with your sexiest gaze while you take him in your mouth. Show him with your eyes that you love it and can’t get enough of it.

Use your hands

Using just your mouth can lead to a pretty boring blowjob. Involve your hands to intensify his pleasure. Just make sure you use enough lubrication though or you could cause some pretty painful chafing.

Study Up

Nobody is naturally great at giving a blowjob despite what they may think. You either learn through many, many mistakes or you read up on it first. You may think you’re good now, but you could be better. You’re not born knowing everything there is to know so there is probably a lot of stuff you’re not even utilizing that would make your blowjob the best he’s ever had. You can’t listen to one or two girlfriends that claim they haven’t had any complaints. Maybe none that they know of but chances are they’ve had them because time and time again women are making the same mistakes and don’t even realize it. You need to study up. For an all inclusive, one stop shop to giving amazing blowjobs check out the book How To Blow Like A Pro at www.howtoblowlikeapro.com. There isn’t a more comprehensive manual on fellatio out there. The key to studying up on blowjobs is having the confidence to try the techniques. They don’t do you any good if they’re collecting cobwebs in your mind.

Watch the signs

A lot of women spend more time thinking about what they’re doing that they ignore the signs of whether he is enjoying it or not. Giving a sexy blowjob shouldn’t be a checklist you go through in your head. Listen to his moaning or see if his body tenses. Seeing that he likes, sorry, LOVES what you are doing will give you a sexy confidence boost so pay attention.

By following these tips you will definitely give your blowjob that extra something that it’s always been lacking. You will be confident and sexy.

This is a great oral sex tip that makes putting on the condom part of your blow job instead of something that will slow it down.   Start by taking the condom out of the wrapper.  If you open the packet using your teeth make sure that you are careful not to catch the condom with them as it could tear it.  Place the condom in your mouth with the tip pointing to the back of your throat and the ring on the outside of your teeth.  Press the tip of the condom to the roof of your mouth with the tip of your tongue to push any air out.  Hold the base of his shaft as you put your mouth around the tip of his penis.  Press the tip of the condom to the head of his penis as you use your lips to roll the condom down his shaft.  Just be careful when you do this not to use your teeth.  You don’t want to tear the condom and you certainly don’t want to hurt him.  If you are doing this on an uncircumcised penis be sure to pull back the foreskin before putting the condom on.  

Hello again nymphos! Take your seats because class is now in session. Today’s lesson is Oral Sex Tips- To Lube Or Not To Lube. (Tips that will be sure to get you an A plus in the bedroom, courtesy of How to Blow LIke a Pro.)

Giving a great blow job requires more than just using your mouth. You have to incorporate your hands but doing so without enough lubrication can feel more like an Indian Burn and less like the greatest thing that’s ever happened to him, but how to do you choose a lube? Lubes are lubes right? What makes it wetter must be better? Uh- no, and using the wrong lube, or even the right lube at the wrong time can cause problems.

So here you have it, Lube 101.

Water based lubes: Water based lubes are the safest form of lube. Pretty much you won’t go wrong with water based lubes. Some of them have even been approved by the FDA for intercourse so that means you can also use them with condoms. They come in anything from a liquid to a gel form. The greatest thing about water based lubes is that they offer an easy clean up after sex. They won’t stain sheets. Unfortunately they are not the longest lasting lube and will wash right off in water so be sure to keep the bottle nearby.

Silicone lubes: Silicone lubes are longer lasting than water based lubes and they stay active in water. They are more difficult to clean up after sex though and they will melt silicone toys. So if you are using toys, stick to water based.

Oil based lubes: Oil based lubes last the longest lasting so they’re great for hand jobs but it is never a good idea to use oil based lubes for intercourse. They can actually cause vaginal infections and can compromise the latex in condoms. Never, ever use oil based lubes with condoms. (EVER)

So to answer the question, to lube or not to lube, definitely lube but only if you have the right kind on hand. Remember though, for a quick fix in a tight situation (as in, no lube on hand), nothing cures a dry mouth quicker than a glass of water. Keep a glass nearby when you go down. If you start to feel like you are sucking on cotton balls, just take a sip to wet your whistle. Water, after all, does a body good.

Ok, guys. This came from an email from one of my subscribers. And for the sake of his privacy, and as I promised, I will change his name to Pablo Carlos Sandro Dominguez. (There you go Mike, you’re totally protected.)

Pablo, I am going to give you two possible answers to your problem, “My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want to Give Me a Blowjob.”  I am willing to bet it’s one of the two.

She thinks it’s degrading.

It boggles my mind that some women still think this but apparently those women are still out there. Your girlfriend might not want to give you a blowjob because she thinks it’s degrading or feels like it is something she is being forced to do. Without letting her know that it’s a suspicion, let her know that you think it is an extremely erotic and intimate thing having your most prized possession in her mouth. Let her know how much it turns you on. Not just that she’s giving you a blowjob, but that you trust her enough and feel comfortable enough to let her do it. Try and turn the tables on how she views it. Let her warm up to the idea. Whatever you do, do not sound like you are pushing it or make her feel obligated. “Brian’s girlfriend does it. I don’t see what the big deal is.” Let her make her own decisions. Just use your master power of persuasion to sway her.

She’s afraid she doesn’t know how to do it right.

I’d say this is the biggest problem. Women all over claim they hate doing it but when you get down to brass tacks it almost always turns out it’s because she is afraid she isn’t doing it right. So, if you are lucky enough to get her to blow you, make sure you affirm what she is doing. “Oh god baby, that feels so good.” “Where did you learn that?” Even if it’s not the best you’ve ever had. Make her feel like it’s the most amazing thing you’ve ever felt because the more comforable she is the better the blowjob will get. She will be more receptive and more adventurous. You just have to set the playing field. Try learning new techniques together. You learn something new for her and she does the same for you. A great book for her to read how to become comfortable with blowjobs is How to Blow Like a Pro. (check it out at www.howtoblowlikeapro.com) Please though, whatever you do. Do not hand her the book and say read this. That might turn her off of blowjobs forever and you’d be SOL. Suggest that you learn new stuff TOGETHER and then accidentally come across the book.

Squash her fears and insecurities about giving head and she’ll be 110% more apt to do it. Just make sure you play your cards right or you’re ass will be sleeping on the couch.

This goes without being said, but you have to practice something to get good at it. If you want to lean how to Rollerblade, you go to the park a couple times a week. If you want to learn how to cook, you take cooking classes. If you want to learn how to give head you grab the first guy you see and take him home. No wait, that doesn’t sound smart. So how do you get blowjob practice?

One word, DILDO! I know you are going to feel silly practicing on something that won’t respond, or depending on how you look at it, won’t stop responding. (It is constantly hard after all.) How do you know when you’ve satisfied your man, I mean, umm, dildo? Put it this way. You’re not practicing what to do when he makes it to the finish line. You’re practicing how to get him there. The best thing you can do is make yourself comfortable with the techniques you want to use on him.

You want to feel comfortable deep throating? DILDO. You want to learn how how to hold his penis? DILDO. You want to learn the most amazing techniques that will “get him to the finish line”? Check out www.howtoblowlikeapro.com. Oh yeeeaaah. It’s positively the best book on how to give a blow job.

You want to get good at something, you need to practice. You want to get GREAT at something, you need to study. ‘nough said.

Check it out.

Everyone needs a good laugh. Please submit your funniest BLOW JOB JOKES to me. I think I am going to pick up a new hobby. Not something useless like collecting stamps or first edition books. I’m going to collect blow job jokes!! Who couldn’t benefit from one of those?

So help me out! Tell me your best BJ Joke!

These are so funny!! (I had to share them.) So here they are. Some dirty, rude adult blow job jokes.

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

Words to live by…

Ok, here’s another one.

A guy goes to hell and is met by the devil, who explains that the punishments are changed every thousand years and he is to select his first punishment.

First room has a young guy on the wall being whipped. The new guy not keen on this asks to see the next room.

The next room has a middle aged guy being tortured with fire. The new guy immediately asks to see the third room.

It has a really old guy chained to the wall getting a blow job from a gorgeous blonde. The guy jumps at the change and takes the room. The devil walks into the room taps the blonde on the shoulder and says “okay, stop now, you’ve been relieved”.

Yet another…

In an appalling blowjob accident, a man had his penis severed when he hit a tree while his wife was giving him a blowjob while he was driving their car.

His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. He said the cost would be $4,500 for “small”, $9,500 for “medium” or $16,000 for “large”.

The guy thought he’d get a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.

The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.

“Well, what have the two of you decided?” asked the doctor.

The man answered, “She’d rather remodel the kitchen”.

Hello all. I just wanted to shine some light on the book How to Blow Like a Pro for those of you who were looking to learn how to give a blowjob.

What I have to say I really liked about this book is that it wasn’t full of fluff. It’s almost 80 pages of jam packed USEFUL information. I’ve read a couple of books on giving blowjobs and frankly some of them are downright annoying. One book told me to go out and get a chin up bar to have him hang from it while I blow him. Are you freaking kidding me? Who the hell wants to do that? Most of their techniques sounded made up just to fill some pages of the book.

With How to Blow Like a Pro there are only useful and realistic techniques. The writer is also really funny so it’s an easy read. It’s by far the best book I’ve read on how to give a blowjob. (Be it ebook or not.)

You can check it out at How to Blow Like a Pro. If you want a no-shit guide on how to do it right I definitely recommend it.

Two penises up. (Oh come on, I couldn’t help myself.)