My next line of order is to rid the world of freaking text lingo.  I’m 26 years old, literally just 26, and I’m having to Google text translations to communicate with friends.  I feel old before my years. This is ridiculous. Quit being a lazy freaking shit and type what the hell it is you mean. Does it really take that long to write “Oh my god” or do you just feel a little cooler typing “OMG.” How freaking lazy are we getting?

I don’t care if you are LOL or you will BRB. As a matter of fact, if my number is programmed into your phone, know this, if you text lingo me one more time I’m going to PYITFF. Don’t know what that means? Google it…

Of all the sexy things a person can do, I hold the highest regards for a perfectly timed wink. A wink speaks of confidence and charm. A casual wink across the crowded bar speaks volumes over the hot, busty girl giggling at every stupid joke. A sexy wink opens doors and picks up tabs. With a smooth wink you could probably even get away with calling your boss and insolent halfwit.

Despite all of my confidence and irresistible charm though, I cannot wink. When I try to wink it comes off as a contorted facial twitch that lends itself more to looking like I’ve had too much to drink than it does give off come hither vibes. However as anyone must do, I have come to terms with my short comings and therefore will continue to compensate by lifting my shirt in public when I need another drink.

(hmph) The things I must to do compete with all you winkers….

There are so many lists out there about why dogs are better than men that I had to level the playing field. Here are 10 reasons why men are better than dogs.

1. Dogs can’t fix your wireless internet when it goes down
2. Dogs can’t pick up your feminine products on the way home
3. Men won’t potty on the floor… unless they’re drunk. (Don’t ask, I don’t call him anymore.)
4. Men won’t pee on things they want to claim for themselves
5. It’s not illegal to sleep with men
6. Dogs can’t carry your stuff in their pockets when you go out
7. Dogs can’t pick up the tab or buy you things
8. Men don’t shed and if they do they try and hide it
9. Men won’t destroy your new Jimmy Choos when they are bored.
10. You never have to worry about your man getting into the kitty litter when you’re not watching
11. Men won’t lick their butt and then try and kiss you

Ok, I know that’s 11, but the last one was note worthy.

Hellooooo nympho!

Welcome to my tribute to all you other undercover nymphos, or aspiring nymphos, out there.

You are part of an elite group of people with an expertise in the discipline of sex and all that it entails. You can bring someone to their knees with just a seductive glance. You seem to always get what you want. You are that person that people gravitate to and want to be. You are confident, sexy and oh so classy. You are truly an undercover nympho. Congratulations!

For those of you who feel like you haven’t quite reached your undercover nympho status, don’t worry about it. I’ll get you there. After all, I never leave a fellow nympho behind.

Use this site to learn boundless amounts of tips, tricks and techniques that will undoubtedly leave your partner (and everyone around you) in awe. You too will be the person everyone wishes they were. You will be an undercover nympho.

• Seduction
• Sex Tips
• Oral Sex
• Relationships
• Orgasms
• and much more…